In preparation for embarking on my 10 months in Zambia, I decided to read a couple books to get me pumped up to be a missionary. Amongst those books was one titled "Messy Spirituality." I was intrigued by the title and decided I had to read it. Little did I know it would give me the title that I would use for this blog.
As you may have read in my previous blog post (and if you haven't, please go read!), I've had many ups and downs in my relationship with God. I am far from perfect, constantly messing up, and feel rather inadequate when it comes to all things spiritual. At the same time, I am also the poster child for "I have to be perfect before surrendering to God."And where does that leave me? Feeling discouraged, unworthy, and unloved. This is and always has been my biggest struggle.
The book "Messy Spirituality" has not only encouraged me, but has also changed my perspective when it comes to all things spiritual. It has pushed me to embrace my imperfect nature and to acknowledge publicly and wholeheartedly that I need Jesus. My favorite part of this book is when the author points out how annoying it is that we, as Christians, are always so frantic to show only the best side of ourselves; to hide under any circumstances any sign of weakness or sinfulness. If you know me, you know that I admire transparency. My strongest relationships are with people that I can go to and openly display that I am broken, angry, or just need a shoulder to cry on. When this book started out saying "my life is a mess," I knew that I had found something that I could finally relate to. As much as I love Ellen White's writings and books in the Bible like James and Romans, it is especially comforting to have a book that is written in my own vernacular (e.g. when the author uses the terms "klutz", "spiritual nincompoop", and "an ungodly midget in a world of spiritual giants").
Along with the author's raw honesty about his own spiritual life, he also never fails to remind me that through my feelings of inadequacy and sinfulness, God takes those aspects that I feel would automatically disqualify me, and uses them to further His kingdom. It reminds me that all I have to do as a sinful and messy human being is give my life over to Him and He WILL use it for good.
And thus, my blog name was born. So here's to embracing my messiness for the next year and giving it all over to God. I encourage all who read this to also pick up a copy of "Messy Spirituality" by Mike Yaconelli. Below is a link to buy it on Amazon.
Thank you for reading!!! :)
